There is no spoon...but chopsticks, hands and mouths!!!



Maybe the shock of not having a knife or the fact of having ordered an extremely hot soup when the temperature was 32-34 Celsius degrees, could have been enough for my meals…But much more was going to come!

But before moving on, I need now to introduce you to the fact that Malaysia is actually a wonderful mix of cultures, more than one country on its own. There are in fact, 3 main races cohabitating together: the Malays, the Chinese and the Indians. The Malays are the descendent of Indonesian sailors, who reached the coasts of Malaysia many centuries ago; the Chinese and the Indians instead, have been ‘imported’ by the English during their colonial dominion over Singapore and Malaysia much later on. Of course, these are the 3 main components (in terms of percentage) of the population, but of course you can find Baba-Nyonya (mix of Chinese and Malays), Eurasians, Westerners, Indonesians, Banglas, Thais and the Orang Asli, actually the only real autochthonous inhabitants of the Malaysian peninsula.

This campur-campuran (‘mix’ in Bahasa Malaysia, the official language of the country) of people is actually one of the most amazing aspect of Malaysia, even if it is really a complex phenomenon that cannot be understood with a quick glance, but actually requires a deep dive into Malaysian life to be understood, so maybe we will discuss about this later on in some other posts (even if, trust me, for sure I haven’t understood completely yet!).

However at the time of these facts happeneing, for me it was just amazing; in the end of the day, Italy is made of Italians, who all speak Italian (and very rarely other languages, even English), who are all Christian Catholics (yes, there are believers and non-believers maybe, but the cultural background definitely derives from centuries of history of the Church within the borders of the Italian peninsula), celebrate all the same feasts..and so on. Nowadays, immigration has started also in Italy for sure, but the pillars are still very strong.

In this occasion instead I was having the possibility to get in touch not only with the Malays, but also with the Chinese and the Indians…3 countries at the price of 1! And 3 different cultures! And 3 differents meals!

So, I think you can guess quite easily that at the Chinese restaurant, beside the famous spoon and fork, you can find chopsticks. In the end of the day, Chinese restaurants are so diffused even in Western world, that everybody of us has at least once in its life tried to use the chopsticks…and probably not with great success!!!

Actually, if you have somebody who teaches you how to keep the chopsticks in your hands as my friends did, it is not so terrible…well, of course if you accept to go back to work in the afternoon with a nice stain of soy sauce on your shirt!!!

But much much later, I managed to get an A-grade in the subject ‘chopsticks’ from my professors-friends and the test I was submitted to, was to catch peas…

Actually, what I have never revealed to my Chinese friends (sssh!!!Don’t tell them!!!!) is that they think peas are so terrible to be handled with chopsticks…but what about fishballs!?!?! They are impossible!!! Especially if raw!

No, don’t worry, they don’t eat raw fish (sushi is a different story…and that’s Japanese! Don’t be confused!), but there is this nice thing, called steamboat, in which you cook yourself (a bit like fondue), so you have to pick the raw fishball from the plate and bring it inside the boiling soup…….Oh, my gosh!!! What a long way it is!!! With this slippery sphere having minimum points of adherence with the chopsticks, that’s absolutely mission impossible!! Nooooooo, digging the tip of the chopstick inside the fishball is not allowed!!! Have a fair game!!!!

Steamboat and the variety of food you can cook in it

 But maybe the tip of the chopstick, could turn out to be extremely useful, when you’ll finally have another Chinese cuisine masterpiece, which is dim sum. Dim sum are basically dumplings steamed in bamboo containers, and often inside are very very juicy. So, take your spoon (yes, beside the chopsticks you are still entitled to a spoon, but not a western one, this is smaller and deeper), put the dumpling on it with your chopsticks passing by the soy sauce for a dip (yes, I know it is an extremely long journey and you are fearing the dumpling will fall into your Chinese tea cup, but you cannot miss the soy sauce!) and…….bite!

Dim sum, fantastic for lunch, dinner and even for breakfast

Ahhhhh…………it’s hot!!! F$%k man, I got burnt!! Yes, I strongly suggest you to break a bit the dough of the dumpling with the tip of the chopstick, so that the steam can come out…not that it works extremely efficiently, but it helps a little bit…and I think I haven’t got an A-grade yet in not getting burnt while having a dim sum, so I have no better suggestion!

When you had enough of Chinese food, don’t worry!!! You can go for an Indian meal!

So, when you will be proud of yourself because you can adapt to the Chinese etiquette and eat perfectly with chopsticks, you will undergo another huge cultural shock…

Traditionally in fact, Indians eat with their hands..oops, sorry, hand! Because only the right one is allowed to touch the food.

Well, when they told me for the first time we were going to the Indian restaurant and they would have been pleased in seeing me trying eating with my hands, I still wasn’t really shocked. Come on, I am the Sandwich Queen! It is not such a big difference!

That lasted 5 minutes, until I asked: ‘Well, tell me; how is a typical Indian meal?’

And then every word of the answer was increasing more and more my panic…

Rice (hm…with hands? Strange), curry (wait a minute…what are you telling me?), yoghurt (what?!?!...that’s disgusting man!!!!)

Ok, ok, I have to admit it, to every Westerner that seems a bit disgusting at the beginning: for you, who have been told since young to seat properly at the table, not to put your elbow on the table, to put your napkin on your knees, to use the big glass for the water and the smaller one for the wine, to use the napkin before you drink, and after you drink, not to touch your hair while you’re eating, to put the fork and the spoon on the right of the plate on the napkin, and the knife on the left, and…………………..an incredibly neverending list of do’s and don’t’s during the meals…

This is definitely too much…you think you really cannot break this barrier…

But think about it carefully…

No, no, think about it out of the box….

Come on, come on, you can do it……..

A bit more……

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Finally you are free! Nobody is going to judge you for that, all your posh friends dressing Gucci and Prada are 10000km away, and you will even be considered brave by them, because you didn’t stop in front of this difficulty!

What are you going to risk, in the end of the day? Enjoy!!!!!!

So, ok, I have convinced you in trying, didn’t I?

Well..that’s very good, because you haven’t gone yet beyond the real barrier, not until you will see the Indians in the restaurant eating.

You would have never imagined such a level of politeness, elegance, good manners all together as the ones that the Indians can have during their meals with their hands.

I, with silver fork, knife, and spoon, lace napkin and table cloth, 2 crystal glasses and I don’t know how many porcelain plates, cannot either try to get equal.

It is amazing, and after almost 3 years from the first time I ate with my hands, I don’t either dare to ask to my Indians friends to submit me to a test for my A-grade in the ‘eating with hands’ subject…I am still too far, even to try…

In Indian restaurant meals are typically served on banana leaf, and this give them a very special taste; in fact, you can just go to the restaurant and order ‘banana laef’, the anek (big brother in tamil, as the waiter is generally called) there will take care of all the rest. They will serve you rice, putting it at the center of the leaf, and then vegetables are put all around. Meat or fish is typically ordered specifically, so you can ask for coli curry (chicken curry) or meen curry (fish curry), but other currys and gravies will come as per default.



Homemade Indian food



Need some help to order your food? Use this as guideline!

Then, with your right hand, you can create your own bite, mixing the different options in front of you, obtaining always a different taste at every bite. Remember to show respect to your food, nicely bowing and getting closer with your face to the meal and finally push the bite inside the mouth using the thumb.

I am pretty sure that the first impression will make you think of using both your hands to have your food, or at least this is what I did. Taking the meat out of the chicken leg using only the right hand was really impossible for me, it was too sticky together with the bone….

Well…think twice about it! There are at least 2 good practical reasons why you should avoid this; the first is that once you have both your hands dirty, how the hell do you think of touching the glass to drink?!?….yes, my first Indian meal was definitely making me very thirsty!!!

Second reason, with all those spices, you will start to sweat, your nose will start to get ‘liberated’ and how the hell do you wanna clean yourself?!?! Yes, my first Indian meal was definitely a struggle!

But it was definitely tasty. If in Italy we say that a good gourmet eats with eyes, nose and mouth, an Indian can add a fourth sense to experience the food. It is amazing how you can feel how hot the food is, if there is any piece of spice which need to be separated, and so on… It is a 360degrees experience…

After this, I guess you will want to try even the Indian bread (yes, yes, you have to cut the pieces with just your right hand! But for that you need a specific degree I think!). And remember, it works exactly opposite that for Westerners restaurant: you order the kind of bread you want, then the gravies come as per default. At the beginning, I wasn’t able to understand what I was supposed to order!!! So, you will meet the world of puri, naan, pharata, idli, chapatti, roti canai, tosai…don’t miss any, because they are wonderful!

And then, your skills will be useful also in the Malay restaurants, because they also traditionally eat with their hands: otak-otak, curry puff, kueh, are just the tidbits you will not resist at the pasar malam! (night market)

Murtabak, pancake with meat and spices

Kuih-kuih, when you want something extremely sweet...

And after all the mixture of way of eating experienced in Malaysia, with fork and knife at the Western restaurant, hands fat Indian’s and Malay’s, chopsticks at Chinese’s, it didn’t make too much wonder to me to find in a children’s book:

Amin makan dengan mulut (Amin eats with his mouth)…well, this seems a certainty at least!!!

But even if it can seem difficult, even if it can seem strange, do you know what is really the best of having food in Asia for me!? That if you try to get beyond the barrier of differences, all the Asians will welcome you!!!

For them it is an honor and a pleasure to guide you, to help you, to make you feel on your own skin how they behave, who they are…and they will never raise a complaint, a scolding, they will never be shocked of your errors…

And now, I am sure, if you watch this video… you’ll feel more sympathy for Adnan than for her!!!! (From 'Adnan Sempit", a Malaysian movie in cinema beg 2010)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=fUWPjY-RxXI#t=376s